Burbank Airport Marriot Hotel & Convention Center
2500 Hollywood Way Burbank,
California 91505 USA
Doug's appearance
at the very first MONSTERPALOOZA con gave Fan Sapien Anoray
the chance to secretly put into motion a plan to give
Doug some belated birthday presents from his beloved Fan
Sapiens, so after months of planning, Anoray went along
to the convention armed with a briefcase, a Birthday Goodie
Bag and her heart in her mouth as she carried out ...
OPERATION FAN MULE. This is her story in words,
pictures and videos.
Click
on the thumbnails to see a larger image
MY DAY AT MONSTERPALOOZA aka
'Operation Fan Mule' aka 'There’s Love'
By Anoray
I must
begin this con report with a giant thank you to webmistress,
HM [That's short for 'Hellmistress',
I'm embarrassed to say, my alter ego on Del Toro Films
- Ed.] and her co-conspirator, Derek (Doug’s
appearance manager) who aided and abetted me in Operation
Fan Mule. My mission was to transport birthday
presents from some very dedicated Fan Sapiens to Dougie
during his appearance at the con. Since this was the
first Monsterpalooza ever (not to mention my first
time meeting Mr. J), no one could really tell me what
the con was like or what the turnout would be. So
when I bought my advance ticket online, I just prayed
for the best possible outcome … and not to completely
embarrass myself in front of Doug.
Speaking
of that, I’ve made an attempt here to dust off
my ancient journalism degree and write an objective
report with minimal drooliness. For those of you who‘ve
met Doug, you‘ll know what a difficult task
this is and why it’s taken me several days to
finish!
On the
way to the Burbank Marriott, I listened to my U2 No
Line On the Horizon CD to distract me from the
increasing pitter patter of my heart. Grateful was
I to find not only a parking space, but the right
entrance on the first try. Things were off to a good
start! Perusing the little map given to me by the
pleasant gatekeepers, I discovered that Dougie’s
booth was almost disconcertingly close. Gulp. Was
I really ready to meet him right away? I debated taking
a stroll around the exhibits first to get my bearings.
I finally settled on rather surreptitiously passing
by his booth--just so I could figure how best to commence
Operation Fan Mule, of course!
Grasping
the big, red birthday bag o’ goodies and shouldering
my briefcase, I walked over to my left expecting a
formal line up in front of a table. Oh, joy! It was
a laid back, rather cozy alcove with a table set up
at the back. Up on the black curtain dividers and
on the tables were all the delightfully familiar images
of Doug as Pan, Abe and the Silver
Surfer … and behind the table, chatting
with a couple of people, was the delightfully real
Dougie! After months of anticipation and planning,
the fact he was now only ten feet away got my hands
trembling. My stomach felt like a thousand monarch
butterflies were doing their annual migration inside.
No, no, no. I will not approach him in this condition,
I forbid myself.
JOHN
ALEXANDER, MY HERO
As I
hesitated, my rescue came from the absolutely delightful
John Alexander, who was sharing the alcove with Doug.
A lovely, soft spoken man, he smiled and shook my
hand as we introduced ourselves. I passed along greetings
from dear HM and we started chatting away about his
roles in Hellboy II as Johann Krauss
and the legless Goblin. He explained how
his role as the Goblin kept getting bigger
and bigger and that’s why Guillermo del Toro
brought in a second actor [James
Dodd - Ed.] to help with Johann’s
background scenes. John got down on the floor to show
me how he was positioned in the cart, and pointed
out in a photo how the buckets in back covered up
his feet. We laughed about how the crabs got plopped
on the Goblin by the makeup artist instead
of staying in the bucket.
We discussed
the rigors involved in wearing Johann’s
diving suit, especially when it came to holding objects.
John had no sense of touch through the thick gloves
that were screwed on, so holding props was no easy
task. I told him I found it delightfully absurd that
Johann‘s after-hours hobby was building
miniature furniture--he laughed and said he was holding
real antiques and trying not to drop them! As for
dropping props, he said they had to do several takes
of the scene where a nearly blind Johann
tosses the rings to a mostly blind Abe, but
Doug did manage to catch the velvet bag once.
I told
him I was looking forward to seeing his performance
as a Wheeler in Return to Oz and
we talked about the construction of the costume. He
next spoke about the making of some of the ape suits
and masks from Tarzan and Mighty Joe
Young and how things advanced technically. I
asked him how he had became the go-to guy for primate
performances. I learned he had started in show business
doing acrobatics as a teen, then gradually shifted
into theater and finally movies. He said there was
no planning involved in his career--in this business,
he said he’s not sure anyone can really make
a plan! His next project is for PBS NOVA in a special
on prehistoric man. It sounds like a very interesting
program I‘ll definitely want to see how much
of John is recognizable.
ENTER DOUGIE, STAGE RIGHT
Around
this time, Dougie was momentarily free and my stomach
was considerably less infested with butterflies. I
stepped forward to introduce myself as Anoray from
the DTF message boards and showed Doug the bag of
birthday goodies from his Fan Sapiens. His greeting
was so sweet: His eyes went wide and he clasped his
hands together with apparent delight, “Anoray!“
Smiling, he stepped forward saying “Look at
you--aren’t you a precious princess, a precious
love?” He said he’d heard there was some
mystery about what a Bosie was and apparently his
first order of business was to educate me. I was a
totally willing pupil, of course. “You brought
luggage!“ He waved away my briefcase, telling
me to put everything down.
“Okay,
first is a regular hug …” Dougie enveloped
me into a full on hug, complete with oohs and ahhs
and squeezies. While I marveled at how he felt like
quicksilver under my hands, he explained hugs were
very nice, but brief. He then stepped back a little
bit, looking down into my eyes. Goodness only knows
what kind of goofy grin I was wearing by now, but
he kindly chose to ignore it. “Now, a Bosie
…” He gently folded me back into an embrace
and spoke softly. “A Bosie is a type of hug,
but it‘s for holding and petting and soothing
for as long as you need it.“
So there
I was, snugly wrapped up in Dougie’s impossibly
long arms with his chin resting tenderly on my head.
He rocked me gently back and forth and told me it
was our dear HM who taught him all about the Bosie.
HM, you are a goddess for inventing and passing this
miracle on. The only description I can offer: a Bosie
feels like you are intertwining on a molecular level
with the other person in an unconditional “There‘s
Love“ kind of way. In magical slow motion, of
course.
Alas,
even Bosie‘s have to end sometime … Doug
eased the transition by kissing my hand when we separated,
calling me a precious princess again. Even better,
he cupped my chin in his hand and told me I was beautiful.
Yes, he probably says it to his fangirls all the time,
but I will cherish the memory nonetheless.
As my
senses returned to Earth, I heard strange music from
an exhibit area across the way. Dancing and singing
along to the music was a full-sized animatronic skeleton
with glowing eyes (later on, Dougie would do a dead
on imitation of this skeleton that was amusing to
say the least). The surreal spectacle reminded me
I’d recently seen the absurd Sockbaby 4.
I asked Doug if John Soares’ recent project
The Danger Element would have the same silly
humor and he said, “Oh, absolutely.“ We
chit chatted about enjoying goofy humor dating back
to programs like the Carol Burnett Show.
He said that whenever he watches an old show like
that, he realizes how much this type of comedy has
influenced his own sense of humor through the years.
I pointed
out the blue, brown and silvery striped colors of
my shirt to Doug and explained I wore them in honor
of Abe, the Faun and Silver
Surfer. I should have thought to say the black
stripes were for Goth rocker Jerry in MNIJ,
but I had the Gainesbourg/Gainesbarre creature
on my mind instead. Dougie then amused me with the
correct pronunciation of the names and said the name
Gainesbarre does not actually exist in the
French language. I got too distracted by Doug’s
mini French lesson to pester him for more details
about the character. Maybe that was his plan all along--he
can be quite enigmatic when he wants to be.
I complimented
him on his embroidered shirt and asked him if he bought
it while in France. Doug chuckled, “Are you
all talking about my shirts again?“ He did get
it from the same place he purchased the form fitting
black and white shirt so many of us admire. He said
he loves that shop because it‘s one of the few
places where he can find such nice things that fit
him like a glove. Dougie did indeed look fetchingly
svelte: For you fashionistas out there, the
rest of his ensemble consisted of an Abe-tight
pair of dark corduroy pants, and black pointy shoes.
He is definitely one lean, talking, and hugging machine
;-)
At some
point, Dougie told me I looked about 5’9”--but
I raised up a boot heel to justify looking taller
than my actual 5‘7.“ All this led to me
asking him how tall his father is/was. Doug told me
his father was 6’ 5,” but he had passed
away 30 years ago. I was very sorry to hear he‘d
lost his father so young. Doug started to tell me
a really sweet story about how his father’s
death changed him, but just then someone wanted an
autograph. Dougie told me to “Put a comma right
there, I promise we’ll get back to it.“
DOUGIE, the HUMAN
PARTICLE COLLIDER
While
Dougie signed the photo (and charmed the socks off
a very happily smiling young woman), I pondered when
and how to commence his gift unwrapping. He’d
previously told me he was extremely excited and curious
to see what his Fan Sapiens had given him, but now
an increasing stream of admirers crowded into the
alcove. I didn’t want to hog too much of his
time all at once, nor did I wish to rush anyone‘s
special gift to him. As if sensing my quandary, Doug
stepped away from the others for a moment to see if
I was okay with waiting a bit longer. I assured him
I didn’t mind in the least as long as it was
not a problem on his end. He seemed content with me
simply hanging out as a fly on the wall--and I must
thank the very kind woman (I can’t believe I
didn’t get her name!) who was assisting Dougie
with his autograph requests. She made me feel so welcome,
and I hope I hovered along the outskirts of the alcove
unlike a vulture.
Once
in a while, Doug would cheerfully point out a particular
person to me, or even be kind enough to introduce
me to a visitor as one of his dedicated Fan Sapiens.
I tried not to look like a gaping fool and give those
of us in The
Tank [Dougie's message
board - Ed.] a bad rap. I observed with
great interest how Doug so deftly interacted with
the wide variety of people that visited him and John
Alexander. They ranged from awestruck fans who could
barely talk, to fellow actors and industry professionals,
but they all walked away from The Doug Zone smiling.
I came to the conclusion that Doug emits a special
subatomic particle (which I christened “the
dougon”) that collides with each person‘s
unique molecular structure, thus generating an irresistible
positive charge due to the laws of quantum physics.
If you had seen Dougie pinch the cheeks of a burly,
grown man wearing the ubiquitous black t-shirt--and
get the man to giggle like a toddler--you would not
doubt my theory.
There
were so many people, I could not keep up with all
the names and I have absolutely no idea how Doug does
it all the time. For instance, Camden Toy (Doug’s
Gentleman cohort from the “Hush”
episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) bopped
in and out frequently since his booth was nearby.
He had a delightful personality and grin. In fact,
he said his grin was why he got cast as a Gentleman.
There
was a man and his wife/girlfriend who gave Doug a
t-shirt--I believe it said “Renaissance players
do it with panache” on the back. This man had
a stack of DVD inserts from just about every project
Dougie ever appeared in. Signing several, Doug was
impressed to see The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
in the group. Mentioning his one line in the film
reminded Doug of an amusing anecdote about his bit
in a Jack Frost film: He couldn’t believe
he got dubbed over because the producer only hired
one guy to do all the looping! We all laughed when
Doug quoted the line in a whining voice (similar to
Napoleon Dynamite), “Someone ate all
my carrots!”
One thing
about Doug, he’s definitely tactile and loves
to touch people. I don’t think anyone escaped
his alcove without at least one hug or a pinch on
the cheek. “There’s Love!“ or “Precious
Puppies,” and “Look at you, precious”
was frequently heard as he petted heads, cheeks, or
poked tummies. His fingers did squeezies along my
forearm when he explained to me this is how he really
communicates with people. At various points throughout
the day when we talked, he’d gently squeeze
my hands or wrist, or caress my hair. His touch was
never invasive and felt healing.
Doug
also seemed to know just what to say to an individual
to elicit a positive reaction or deflect a potential
problem. Laughter was definitely abundant in the Doug
Zone. Also, Doug‘s keen awareness of the people
around him was obvious in the way he’d compliment
someone on a facial feature, their outfit, or speak
out their name first if it was written anywhere visible.
Once, he plucked a couple of stray hairs off the shoulder
of a bemused man he was chatting with. How delighted
was I when Doug complimented me on my speaking voice
and declared, “You sing, don‘t you--Alto,
right?” This meant a lot to me because, as I
told Doug, I found his own speaking and singing voice
very soothing to my ears. This earned me some more
squeezies from Dougie.
At some
point in the day, I asked Doug how comfortable the
Abe outfit in Hellboy II was. He
said the suit itself was quite comfortable since the
muscles were all part of it, but it was made of pleather
and got quite steamy inside. He mentioned he was a
complete basket case on the day of filming Nuala’s
death, with his own tears streaming behind Abe’s
mask.
HOW I MET A SLEESTAK
Seeing
Doug pucker up his lips and say, “There’s
love, you precious,“ was doubly amusing when
Marti Matulis stopped by. Marti was Doug’s accomplice
in The Converters and seeing the two of them
standing eye-to-eye with Dougie pinching Marti’s
cheeks affectionately almost got me started on a giggle
fit. The fact that Marti kept a straight face through
all the “booga, booga, booga” action made
it even funnier.
I must
take the time to report what a really, really nice
guy Marti is. We kidded around about how difficult
it must be to work with Doug since he’s such
an aloof, difficult, prima donna. Marti mentioned
he’d just been featured in the website trailer
created for Guillermo del Toro‘s book The
Strain. Marti also recently finished working
as a Sleestak on Land of the Lost and was
getting ready to head out to New York for The
Tonight Show to suit up again as a Sleestak during
a skit featuring Will Ferrell. I asked him if the
new Sleestaks were as slow moving as the originals
and he said the movie capitalizes on that nonsense.
He said he made sure the other Sleestaks did the hissing
and shuffling correctly. He’d also played a
troll creature on an unaired pilot for ABC called
Captain Cook’s Extraordinary Atlas
directed by Tommy Schlamme. Too bad it hasn’t
been shown, at least not yet since it has Hal Holbrook
and is about a girl who uses a magical atlas to discover
an alternate world beneath Earth. Marti told me he
originally wanted to be a make-up artist, but didn’t
possess that ability. However, he did translate his
love for make-up artistry into performing as the creatures
themselves.
Hovering
around the alcove and basking in Dougie’s energy
was getting way too addictive, so I decided I’d
better give him a break from me and check out the
rest of the con for a while. When I let him know my
plan, he thanked me for being so patient. I kept assuring
him I was having a great time (and hoping he wasn‘t
feeling any pressure). He had me put the gift bag
behind his table for safekeeping. “You’ll
be back, right?“ he asked with more squeezies
of my hands. You’ll have to pry me off with
a crowbar, I laughed to myself before I departed
for my side adventure.
LAND OF THE BLACK
T-SHIRTS
Right
across from Doug’s alcove was Margot Kidder
of Superman fame. She looked quite like her
Lois Lane days, only more matronly. In the
next booth, a smiling female makeup artist was creating
incredibly realistic wounds on the faces, necks and
arms of delighted customers. Later on, one of them
(a young boy with a bloody slash across his throat)
would stop by to visit Doug.
Speaking
of blood, I found plenty of bottles filled with the
fake stuff. There was even a handy pack marked: Venial,
Aged, Venial Splash and Arterial. I had no idea there
were so many options! As for the variety of people
perusing the aisles, although the majority were black
t-shirt clad males of different sizes, shapes and
ages, there were women and children present in sizeable
numbers. I spied quite a few hardcore Goth types,
but they looked pretty tame next to creatures like
Pale Man, Pinhead and the plethora
of hideous horrors for sale.
There
was one room entirely filled with the busts of famous
monsters like Creature From the Black Lagoon,
Lon Chaney‘s Phantom of the Opera (did
I mention Kusanivy really, really should have been
there?) and at least sixty others. No matter where
I turned, my eyes encountered bizarre creatures, aliens,
insectoids, and dragon heads--at the back end of the
main hall loomed a gigantic gorilla with hairy arms
upraised.
I meandered
past a bust of HP Lovecraft, and got the shivers from
trying on a replica Freddy Krueger glove…complete
with slashing fingerblade action. Various artists
worked on their clay sculptures as if there weren’t
already enough monsters filling the halls and exhibit
rooms. Chucky dolls grinned maniacally alongside
vintage comic books and countless macabre collectibles.
I saw only a couple of cosplayers: an extremely savage
looking werewolf, and some sort of unidentifiable
albino beastie.
The most
interesting room to me was the museum, which featured
life size sculptures of famous horrors, such as the
classic Frankenstein’s Monster, Dracula, Mummy,
and more modern cousins like Alien and Predator.
One of the creepiest inhabitants was Heath Ledger‘s
Joker, his eyes glittering up at me through
the gloomy darkness while eerie background noises
emitted from somewhere.
I decided
I’d had enough of the bad and the ugly--and
it was time for the good.
RETURN TO DOUGIE-NESS
When
I returned to Doug’s booth, he gradually made
his way over to me through the cluster of visitors.
I rather sheepishly admitted to him that, out of all
the monster memorabilia available, I had purchased
a miniature Gumby and Pokey for my sons. I told him
I’d found out a new claymation movie starring
these bendables was coming out sometime down the track.
We laughed about that, then Doug remembered the story
he wanted to tell me about his father:
When
Doug was a boy, he was not a hugger of people--he
hugged his little dog instead. None of his family
were really huggers either, but when his father passed
away, Doug was only 19. He was getting ready for finals
at Ball State when he got the phone call. In the aftermath,
his older brothers held a family meeting because they
were especially concerned about Doug still needing
a father figure and role model. The second-eldest,
Tom, sat down with Doug and offered to fill that role
for him if this was something Doug wanted. And Doug
said the tears just started rolling down his face
… and he and his brothers all hugged. And from
that day forward, hugging was the way his family gave
each other emotional support. Thus, Doug became a
hugger of people.
We hugged
in a mini-Bosie after this heartwarming story and
I told Doug that I really admired his gift for connecting
with others--and I most especially appreciated his
spiritual nature. His eyes lit up and he smiled. “Oh,
so you’re a sister?” Doug explained how
HM calls him her spiritual soul brother. “Isn’t
she absolutely wonderful?” Doug asked me. I
heartily concurred. He emphatically added, “I
don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Around
this time, Jose (El Fauno Sabio on the DTF message
boards) showed up with his adorable girlfriend, Karena.
Dougie opened his arms wide and engulfed them both
in a giant hug. “El Fauno--you brought me a
puppy! You’re both precious puppies!”
Jose was grinning ear to ear. After the hug-fest and
some chit-chat with Doug, Jose told me he had felt
shaky about meeting Doug and he was nervous and excited
thinking about going to Guillermo’s book signing
for The Strain later in the week. Jose recorded
Doug in a buoyant video greeting for the DTF website
(with a special shout out to his Fan Sapiens), and
had Doug sign a Hellboy II poster that Guillermo
and Mike Mignola had previously signed. Jose and Karen
came and went a couple of times as the explored the
con. I can say that El Fauno Sabio-- aka Jose--was
a very, very sweet guy and it was a pleasure to meet
him and Karena!
The alcove
remained busy with visitors. Doug was asked several
times about what was happening with Frankenstein
and Hellboy III, Silver Surfer,
and The Hobbit, but he didn’t have
any solid updates to share on any of these projects.
He confirmed he was definitely interested in being
part of them, especially his dream role of Frankenstein
and finishing off Hellboy III. Both he and
I only half-jokingly bemoaned the fact Guillermo is
tied up until 2012 with The Hobbit. “I’m
49 years old, Anoray, I don’t know how much
longer I can wait!“ I reassured Doug not to
worry--he must be on a separate aging track because
he looks so young.
In the
meantime, July will be a good month for Dougie: the
DVD’s for Angel of Death and Super
Capers are coming out. The director of AOD, Paul
Etheredge, had dropped by the alcove earlier and given
Doug an advance copy of the DVD. He told Doug he had
changed some of the music and edited the pacing to
better suit the longer format now that all the webisodes
were incorporated into a single narrative.
Two gentle
giants stopped by the booth at different times, both
seeking Dougie‘s advice about acting under heavy
prosthetics. Timothy, a sweet faced young man with
red mutton chops, was already working in special effects
but was considering becoming a suit actor since several
people said he had the right build for it. He had
massive, Brian Steele sized hands! Later on, an even
bigger giant arrived, this one with a long ponytail.
His name was Sky (appropriate, since his head was
scraping it) and he said he had so much awe and respect
for Doug‘s work. Sky asked about advice regarding
agents and Doug urged him to be sure he lets the agent
know what kind of work he wants to focus on. “And
don’t let the studios treat you like a hanger
… make sure your agent gets you paid what you‘re
worth. You’re not an extra in a suit. Don‘t
sell yourself short.” Doug emphasized that suit
acting takes specialized skill and endurance. During
this conversation, I was thinking Doug should display
his My Name Is Jerry poster and pictures
of his non-creature roles to make his versatility
more visible to the con going public.
I’m
happy I got to see Dougie being taped for the intro
to a video being made about Monsterpalooza itself.
It’s always intriguing to see how something
is done live, then how it appears onscreen. Doug laughed
when he did a rare flub on the first take, then flawlessly
performed on the second go round, making up the entire
intro as he went.
DOUGIE GETS GIFTS
At long
last, Doug determinedly pulled me back behind the
table area so he could finally see the messages and
presents his Fan Sapiens had sent him. He still got
interrupted for autographs in between gifts, but he’d
happily write an inscription for the person, have
his picture taken with them, then return to unwrap
another present like an excited little boy. It was
a joy to witness first hand his reactions to every
item. Somehow, he tuned out the overall loudness of
the con to focus on this little ceremony. I was so
touched when I saw his eyes tearing up a bit as he
held various birthday letters. His supple fingers
even trembled slightly while emotions played across
his face.
I gave
Dougie the note from HM first. Again, he told me how
wonderful she was and that she was his soul sister.
I told him how much I appreciated her help in setting
up Operation Fan Mule. Part of HM’s
message was admonishing him to eat something or he‘d
get “THE LOOK.” Dougie then did an impersonation
of a stern HM looking over a pair of glasses with
upraised eyebrows that cracked me up. I can see why
he doesn’t get to eat much at cons, though--the
man gets no downtime and goodness only knows when
he gets a restroom break!
Next
up was KateC’s double whammy of a present. Dougie
talked about meeting KateC in Boston. He had been
very touched by her previous letter--he said he’d
been in tears reading it. When he realized he was
meeting the author, he wanted to be sure she knew
how much it meant to him. Opening the new birthday
letter, he was delighted KateC wrote long letters
by hand instead of typing, remarking that hardly anyone
ever did that anymore. He said she was a very good
writer, then read the explanations of the drawing
KateC had done as a belated 25th anniversary gift
for Doug and Laurie, plus the history behind the two
beautiful Armenian crosses. He oohed and awed over
everything, saying he was very impressed by her exquisite
drawing and all the fine detail and artistry she put
into it. He folded the letter away to savor it in
its entirety at home later that evening.
As Doug
picked up the package sent by KatyBacon, he looked
at me, eyes wide and asked me, “Doesn’t
she make the most wonderful videos? She is so talented!”
Naturally, Dougie was totally thrilled to find a lovely
card, along with a DVD with all three videos she’d
made of him. I totally agreed she knew how to capture
his essence. He thought the dolphin cookie cutter
was hilarious--it would be perfect for Laurie to use
for his PB&J sandwiches from now on. Dougie said
he really misses PB&J when’s away from home,
along with Taco Bell. Of course, I had to find out
his favorite Taco Bell food: Combo #1, people. Earlier,
we’d talked about him meeting both KatyBacon
and Telly at Dragoncon and he laughed and said he
was bracing himself for a full on, knock ‘em
down, drag ‘em out encounter.
Foolishly
I had neglected to bring scissors to help Doug open
his packages, so he used his car keys on the next
box from Maya. While he was doing this, I could smell
something like burnt matches. I ignored it, assuming
it came from one of the many bizarre displays. Earlier,
Camden Toy had returned to visit for a bit and I could
see Derek rustling around with something under the
table. However, I was too focused on Doug‘s
quest to open the present to pay much attention. Next
thing I know, Derek pulls out a chocolate birthday
cake from under the table, complete with lighted candles
while the familiar tune of “Happy Birthday to
You“ filled the air! His two assistants and
many other Dougie friends sang along. It was an amazing
moment.
Both
Doug and Camden were totally surprised, jaws open
about a foot. It was Camden’s birthday that
very day, plus Doug had celebrated his the previous
weekend. Doug laughed, saying he had smelled smoke--but
he was opening presents and nothing was going to stop
him! Dougie and Camden had great fun outdoing each
other on the candle blowing, then even more maniacal
madness ensued with them slicing into the cake. It
reminded me of the shower scene from Psycho!
Despite just sitting there like a grinning fool during
all the mayhem, I was given a slice of birthday cake
by Derek, which made me feel so included rather than
intrusive. He’s quite the sweetie.
After
the cake was demolished, Dougie was delighted to find
a carved dolphin from Maya inside the stubborn box.
He oohed and awed, kissing the dolphin like a little
pet. As he carefully rewrapped it and made sure it
was snug in the box, he said how pleased and touched
he was to have such devoted Fan Sapiens. Earlier,
he‘d mentioned he likes to drop in on The Tank
when he can to feel the love there. He loves meeting
and hugging Fan Sapiens at cons and he’s got
several coming up. He wrote Maya’s DTF name
near her real name on the box so he’d be sure
to connect the two.
Doug
was impressed to get a package all the way from Germany--he
asked me if I’d ever seen Kaddi’s website,
where she goes by Coldmirror. I said only briefly
so far, but I knew she’d gotten a lot of people
interested in My Name Is Jerry via the trailer.
Doug expressed how grateful he was for her support
as he opened her gift. Oh, he was happy to find Kit
Kats! He explained these were the big, special chunky
German kind you can't get in the States. Kaddi had
also sent a handmade little book and Doug cracked
up at what she labeled "crappy dolphin drawings."
“Awwwww!“ Dougie saw a picture of Kaddi
and her boyfriend in the booklet and gave it a big
smoochie. Last, but not least, he unfurled a big red
t-shirt with the words “Have a break, kick a
cat” and a cartoon Abe Sapien kicking
a cat. This, of course, refers to the incident of
where Doug accidently kicked one of Hellboy’s
cats during filming because he couldn’t see
where he was going. “Wow, this is specially
silk screened and everything!”
Now it
was Telly’s turn: When Doug opened the package,
he found it full of shiny star confetti. “Oh,
she must know the story about the confetti,“
Doug laughed. He then told me that whenever he travels,
Laurie packs star confetti in his suitcase--which
he then spends weeks finding in his underwear while
he’s wearing it. He looked rather puppy-eyed
and said it can be very uncomfortable. I confess I
couldn’t express much sympathy because I was
too busy laughing over the image in my mind.
In addition
to the confetti, Doug found a Rubik’s Cube,
and a dolphin pen. He petted the pen with his finger…and
then looked mystified to discover three quarters,
and a ginko tree leaf. He looked from these items
to me as if I had answers. “Do you know what
the quarters are for?“ I shook my head, grinning.
“I have no idea.“ He laughed. “But
why three of them?“ I could only laugh back
and say, “It’s from Telly!“ He was
sure there would be answers in the card, which started
playing music when he opened it. That got him dancing
in his chair and I could only imagine the Bosies he’d
be giving Telly (and KatyBacon) at Dragoncon!
The last
items in the bag were my gifts for Dougie. I discovered
that HM is right: Dougie LOVES chocolate covered almonds.
He said he and Laurie just recently discovered their
mutual passion for the yummies on their last trip.
Doug told me that Laurie returned to Los Angeles a
couple of days ahead of him. When he arrived, she
asked if he’d brought the almonds. When he had
to tell her he couldn’t fit them in his luggage,
her face fell. I was very glad to give him something
they could both enjoy together! My main gift to Doug
was a handmade album with “Did you ever wonder
what would happen if Guillermo del Toro directed My
Name Is Jerry?” written on the cover. Basically,
it starred my Abe action figure in my directorial
debut: Hellboy III: My Name Is Abe. In this
mini drama filled with my sons‘ toys as a cast
of characters, Abe dealt with his mid-life crisis,
but it did have a happy ending. Dougie looked up at
me, “This must have taken you hours.“
I told him I had lots of fun creating it. I also did
not expect him to read the whole thing then and there,
so I tucked it back in the gift bag with all the other
Fan Sapien goodies after he’d chuckled over
several of the pages.
With
all the gifts opened at last, Dougie thanked me again
for bringing everything on behalf of the Fan Sapiens
because he was so happy to feel the love. He asked
me if I had anything for him to sign. I gave him my
Hellboy: Bones of Giants novel, plus the
beautiful Hellboy II: The Art of the Movie
I’d won from Spydaweb. Dougie hadn’t seen
the art book before and leafed through it. “Is
there a particular place you want me to sign?”
Doug doesn’t know this, but there was a specific
picture I wanted him to use. For some reason, I told
him to please sign wherever he decided was best. And
lo and behold, he found the close up photo of the
tender moment between Abe and Nuala
in the library. “I want to sign this one,”
he smiled. He proceeded to write me a beautiful inscription
using a portion of the dialogue from my favorite scene
in the movie. I don’t know if I even thanked
him properly for his empathy and reading my mind…I
was too busy floating at this point. I did manage
to control my faculties long enough to find an illustration
of Abe in the other book. Doug wrote that
I’d definitely won the Silver Dolphin of Devotion
today! A heartfelt thank you to Doug for these two
priceless treasures.
I’d
brought some questions to ask, but I only chose one
so Doug wouldn’t call security to extract me
from his presence. “What is something you want
your Fan Sapiens to know about you, but no one has
ever asked?” He thought a moment about that
and laughed. “I talk so much, I don’t
think there’s much that’s been left unsaid!”
By this
time, the con was officially over. I couldn’t
believe four hours had gone by so quickly. Doug made
sure we got a picture together before Derek dismantled
the alcove. Not only that, he asked me to look at
the image to be sure it turned out the way I wanted.
Knowing he must be exhausted by the day’s activities,
I was touched by his consideration for me.
I told
Doug how much he and Guillermo--and the creative Fan
Sapiens--had inspired me. Back when I‘d worked
in the entertainment industry, my friend and I had
strived for years to start our own production company,
but I‘d wound up getting burned out instead
before leaving the business to get married and have
children. “Oh, but you have a purpose!“
Dougie assured me as he squeezed my hands, rocking
them to and fro. “Oh, yes,“ I totally
agreed, “I love being a wife and a mother.”
I admitted with some embarrassment there was just
a small part of me that still missed the … “Hoopla?”
Doug supplied just the right word, gesturing around
at the bizarre exhibits of Monsterpalooza, “There’s
definitely a bit of hoopla to go around in Hollywood.”
After
one last Bosie, along with some sweet words I will
keep to myself as precious mementos, we bid each other
farewell. There Doug stood, surrounded by countless
manifestations of horror, his gentle face in stark
contrast to all these fearsome creatures conjured
by human minds to entertain and terrify. I found it
both odd and wonderful to know that the man who brought
life to so many of these monsters was, in actuality,
a beacon of light against the shadows. I know Doug
has said that after he dies, he wants to be remembered
for making a person feel like they are the most special
person to him during that moment he is with them.
Well, Doug, that is how I will remember you.